I don't know

I don't know
why I feel this way
I know, I am immature
I know that very well
I want to get rid of this feeling
but sometimes I just can't
I am sorry God
I am not a good daughter
I feel I am useless
I am sorry if sometimes I can't be thankful for what I get
I have never meant like that
but..
I feel useless
I feel so dumb that I can't do anything
I feel like I don't have any talents
I feel like I never make someone happy
I don't know if there's someone who like me
who think that I am precious
is there somebody who thinks like that?
If someone loves me and needs me?
I fail
and it feels like this world will fall apart
What can I do?
I feel like I have never given something precious for my family, my parents
I wonder if they ever feel proud of me?
because I can't give anything to them
I want to help them but it seems like I fail
I have tried but what can I do?

Sometimes I just hate myself
I hate myself and I don't wanna be me
The one to blame is me
I am nothing
I am nothing
and I can't share my burden with others
it just driving me crazy
sometimes I just can't take it anymore
and I want to shout out loud
if people know my feeling
if they can understand
butI know they can't
that's why sometimes I feel alone

Enjoy Every Single Day

Hey

It's been a while since my last update

Maybe I am so happy with my life now that I have no time to update my blog? haha 

well~ now I am officially a university student

University life is different with highschool but not at all 

I think in university I feel more freeeeeee 

Freedom everywhere lol 

Not freedom in a bad meaning though

but it's the good one

This freedom make me become more responsible with my duty

I have to know when to play and when to study

Arrange everything by myself without complaining too much

Become more mature every single day because I am not a kid anymore now 

I feel life become harder, more complicated

But I learn to face it, to solve every problem without crying

I think now I am better at handling my difficulties 

I become more confident and calm!

now I am not the person that is nervous to die hahaa though I still always feel nervous

But now I can handle my nervousness better uaaa what a good change!

I feel like I become better in socializing with others and 

Now I am much more active than beforeeee

I still feel afraid but it's not a problem anymore because it won't prevent me to do what I wanna do

and won't prevent me to achieve my dream :D

Now I even become a shameless person because I chat my crush omg hahaa

I don't how I could do that because we have never know each other though I know he knows me because we're in the same unit 

and he also smiled at meeeeeeeeee lol

Well I don't care if it's really shameless or not at least now he know meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and that's what I want hahahah

Okay that's all the thing that I can share about my life now

Now I am the person who can enjoy more things in life and I feel  happier!

So I just want to tell you 

Don't be too serious about life. It may seems not fair, It may seems cruel

But It's good enough to be lived

If you had a bad day, just think about every blessing that you have received from God

Have a nice day!
and this is a bonus! one of my favorites motivational quotes
Hope it can be the answer of all your insecurities and worries. cheer up!

Just Random Motivations

If you can't motivate yourself, then who are going to do it for you?

No one can motivates me, except myself.

I always learn not to give up everytime I fail. and I really did it

although sometimes it's hard to get up, but finally I could make it, I could get through the hard times.

I believe God always sees our hardwork. If we have done our best then everything must be alright. But sometimes eventhough we've already done our best, we still could fail. It's not because we're dumb or what. but I know God has another plan. God wants us to be a stronger person, 

God teach us not to give up, but keep struggling no matter what.

I always thanks God for not let me giving up. If I gave up, I won't be here now. If I gave up that time, I wouldn't enter one of the best University in my country. 

I learn that failure is not the end, but the beginning of a success, and most of all give up doesn't count as a choice to be chosen!

I feel like I have nothing in my life, I am not a talented person, I am not really smart though.

Sometimes I envy with others that have a lot of talents. I feel useless. 

But if I just envy with people, then it means I really a useless girl. But I realize that I am not

I know God loves me, He must give me some talents. Then what I should do is evolve it all.

I will do my best for everything in my life. I will reach my dreams so it won't be just a dream, I will make them come true!

I won't giving up just because I got a badscore, I have to be thankful though, my score is not bad, but it's just not reach A. But I still have a chance, I will do better on the next test. 

I have to fight my fears because I am not afraid to try, but I am afraid to fail. 

I have to get rid of that thoughts, because it will just hamper me. 

I just need to do my best and not worry about anything.

Sooooooooo I am going to say to you all, never give up on your dream or you will regret it and remember "YOU CAN NOT DO IT,FIGHTING!!" 

My introduction

Hello ladies and gentlemen!

Let me introduce myself k!

My name is Chrysilla

actually Chrysilla Irianti Wisesa

aren't you curious about the meaning of my name?

lol i guess not :<

Well it comes from latin word mean golden hair or golden daughter

that's why my hair a bit brown, well just a bit :P

Okay,

I am just an ordinary girl, born in Indonesia

I can speak chinese but only the basic one hahaa 

 I am more interested in korean or japanese

I am learning korean now, but I am still lack

gonna improve later lolss

I love koreaaaa! I wish I could go there later

I love their country, food, product( korean skincare) , kpop, and U-KISS!! :D

Well I fell in love to deep with this boyband

and luckily I have ever met them when they held a concert here :))

so happy that I could see my boyfriends, I mean HUSBANDS :D

Nothing much to tell about me

I am really an ordinary girl, not cute not pretty haha

not really smart, not really have any kinds of talents

just so so

I love singing, dancing, writing, reading, drawing

but whatever I do it's just a so so

my voice is not got nor bad

I can dancing but not a pro anymore lol

sometimes I write a fanfiction, but not as good as others haha

my english is not too good too anyway
my drawing is also not an awesome one XD
AND OH YEAH I DON'T CARE HAHAHA
AS LONG AS I AM HAPPY DOING WHAT I LIKE
THEN NOTHING TO BE WORRY ABOUT HEHE
this is one of the unawesome one lol

I am now at my last year of senior high school

ahh gonna miss it,

but I'm so stress now with exams and assignment

driving me crazy really!

and I am still confused about what major I would take later

food technology or pharmacology?

any advices?:D

but I think I pharmacology more:D
I want to make drugs that can heal diseases!

gonna get some new experiences right?:>
I am so excited uuuuu

That's just a bit of my introduction ^.^ thank you~